I should not have asked

I have not seen you for weeks
Remembering then
I was sending you home.

And now, I have nothing,
I made you angry and your heart just flew.

Argh, my empty heart is calling out for you.
Thought it has broken to pieces( can you hear it?)

Standing back on my feet.
I glued them back
And filling it with hope.

I now know, what it feels
Now I know, it is gone when u need it
pleading it will change.

Argh, my empty heart is calling out for you
Though it has broken to pieces
Standing back on my feet
I glued them back
Filling it with hope.

I will be there
I will come
I will love you once more.

Cause I do not want to lose what's lost again.

31 July 2006

Crazy thoughts, but darn true.

1) I have a cold heart. It needs super long time to warm up. I think the heater in my heart has been faulty since 16.03.1989.

2) My mind needs rewiring. Ask my class what I did today at engin maths tutorial.

3) Yat ling's perfume is too fruity. I hate it.

4) I have always wanted to learn many instruments without going to lessons. ( A little crazy, because I'm not musically talented.)

5) I can compose songs, poems, and simple tunes in my mind. But not on paper. ( Yesterday I sang something like "I got a problem with my girl..." in the showers. And when I changed into clean clothes. I forgot everything!

6) I feel empty.

7) I feel sad everyday. But I do not feel happy everyday.

31 July 2006

It is now 7.26am, and I have just woken up. Dear me, I cant even imagine myself going to bed as early as 11pm! I did not sleep at 11pm though, I had fragmented sleep. It was like, 2 hours of sleep, then 30mins of turning about, then 1hour of sleep, then some turning about. I guess, I had rotated in my bed about 5 times??? And changed the pillow that my head rests on every time I rotated??

So it is now 7.30am, I'm heading for the showers soon. Let me unscrew up my day. Because it is going to be a long long day for me today. ARGH!

I did not study for my quizzes last night. So I'm screwed. Wait! My quizzes are on Tuesday and Wednesday! Not so screwed. BUT still screwed.

30 July 2006

NDP PREVIEW IS OVER! MUAHAHAHAHHA!

I'm tired, so I'm gonna make it quick!

I got 2 preview tickets, so I gave them to Wilbur and Wong, because I always bully both of them. So I was giving them a little treat.

I'm rating our performance 80%. Cos, there are some parts where we could be more sharp and better.

HA! I'm going to retire to bed soon. Got activities at the ECP tomorrow AND I'm the activity MC tomorrow. BUT IM THE UNKNOWN MEMBER LAH! MACHIAM UNLOCKED FROM THE STREET FIGHTER GAME!!!!!

29 July 2006

NDP PREVIEW 2006 is in couple of hours time. Nervous, but I cant wait for it to be over. It is a commitment for over 3 months. Since April 1.( great stuffs happen on a great day right?)

After 9 of August. I would be celebrating it with exams, my book, my notes, my fool scap paper, pen&pencils, highlighter, eraser and calculator. HAIZ......................

Me; "Hi calculator! Would you like a Tiger, Carlsberg or Stella Artois??"

Calculator;" 6899558 M^$36457??"

Me; " HUH? Batteries for you?? Er... ok..."

26 July 2006

I done my first homework! Sense of achievement!!!!

Play football with the 02 class this afternoon. Good teamplay! And I did not know my class rep, Zul is such a terrific goalkeeper! A afternoon out in the sun, but I did not get any darker I think.
Injuries gained: Blisters at both toes.

So I went back with Joan and Amanda. Listened to their gossips and listened to my emo songs. And I almost wanted to buy this month's Maxim Singapore because it was doing something on Annbelle Chong. So I controlled. Need to save money!

25 July 2006

I have not been blogging properly. So this is what I did all this days.

Friday: Went to katong to find fish, roy and jonathan for some rounds of 9-ball. Lost. Then went off to roxy sq to find Zheyang from his guitar classes. Dinner and I suggested midnight movie. So we decided to move off. We all took bus 12 and then yincheng rang Zheyang up. So we headed to Simpang for some talking cock session with yincheng and yiling. Then headed home and prepared for the midnight show. Pirates!! muahaha! Caught that show. Tried out my card. P.s they don't check your signature. The female lead reminded me of Fanfan and then she reminded me of you. Haiz. So I haiz the way through out the show. Walked to 201 with jonathan after it and walked home.

Saturday: Got woken up by kah kiat's phone call in the morning. So I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth and headed down to blk 201 again to meeting ron. RON, you are slow! But then he broke up with his girl on the same morning. So cannot blame. (scars still hunt a hurt girl.) Headed to TP and met up with kah kiat and then guang ming I think. The waited for the rest. Played from 10am to 1pm. Got red and dry skin. I look so much darker now.

Headed home for a quick lunch, changed bathed and prepared for NDP.

Sunday: Did nothing.

Monday: Met with junhao, wan kian and amanda after school. Headed to the interchange and when back home.

Tuesday. Nothing special.

24 July 2006

Blogger went dead just now. So I was rotting infront of my laptop listening to the Beatles' Yellow Submarine, Hey Jude, I just Wanna Hold your Hand and Love me Do.

I'm heading back to the oldies!

23 July 2006

I am a roasted bird right now. But it is not painful. Just became more RED only, because I went to TP to play football from 10.30am to 1pm.

I am the invincible defender john terry! HA!

So after football, I went home, then went over to my friend's place to wait for transport to bring the whole gang out for NDP.

At the NDP, We arrived there just in time for DINNER!! MUAHAHA

The bloody IC for ndp stage props is fierce lah! HE was shouting at his soldiers with the MIKE!

I got PREVIEW TICKETS ONLY!

HAIZ.

22 July 2006

I feel so empty now. I have tried to minimize my thoughts. But I still miss you.

BAH!

I'm a poet.

I am a poet, not any ah beng
I hold a pen, I write
Not a smoke, puffing away.

I can cook, but not very good at it
Mostly conquered the bbq pit
With the chicken wings ending up burnt

I am a poet, I write and think
I write songs to show my feelings
But I feel the negative side of you
It burns through my mind

And kept a imprint

I am not a ah beng,
thought I may speak or look like one
If you think I am one,
I guess you have remembered the wrong me.

Gently I replaced the pen cap.
Nevertheless I remembered your voice
Brought me to sleep.
While in my dreams,
sadly I saw your sorrows
Keeping me wide awake

If you like this poem, tag! And give me some high class fancy fancy pen for my birthday! Shoes would be also nice.

18 July 2006

Sathish is going to going to cover everything in Dfund. This is swee lee's immediate response. JI BYE SIAO LIAO...

Siao liao lah, the slang!

Mr Chua KK! Why pang sei us?

Ok, now I am currently doing my writorial. Done my chapter 4 at last, but my scanner cannot scan so I got to draw using paint. So long... Stupid. ( need to buy one scanner when I got a job during the sem break.)

I still got the opening and end matter parts to do! Let me see... 1 page for the cover, another page for the abstract, another for the acknowledgement, another for the table of contents, another for the list of figures and lastly another for the list of tables. AH! Not to mention another for the references! So adding the number of pages.... I got 7 more pages to do!

HA!

I was working on a song entitled (Sometimes.) yesterday. Kinda depressed, I guess, I could not think of a better reason how I got my ideas. So worked the song out with devin, asked people like shirlene, wong, jh and chih. Ha! Jean was busy so she never give me a good review.

So with devin the bass master... We changed bit and pieces of the song.

And I decided, this song must be completed.

This (Sometimes.) song is about being on a verge of a broken relationship. Still having the old feelings towards that certain girl, the guy decided that sometimes he should do this but he could not. Ha! Complicated right? It was meant to be that way.

17 July 2006 (2)

Sian by the mrbrownshow rocks. Although I cant make the head or the tail of it.

Besides the AH PUI TO AH FIT campaign, I'm gonna create : HAPPIER LIVING campaign. I am urge all to join. Pass around some funny photos, jokes(lame or good ones also can) and discussing about some happy moments.

But then if you want to share your sad moments, I am still there. Although I always sad sad.

OK!

Funny picture of the day from my gallery! It is ME!

but then come thinking about it. IT"S NOT FUNNY LAH!

17 July 2006

Sometimes the world needs a hug. Sometimes the lonely one needs a heart. Sometimes I need a hug.

Emo me. Working on this song. With no music background.

Emo me, flooding my true words would kill me.

Flooding your feelings in codes does not help.

Sometimes.

17 July 2006

XYY go away, come again another day.

How I wish XYY can go away as the song, Rain rain go away, come again another day.

sometimes i really wish it does.

16 July 2006

Lesson number one: always eat when your stomach calls for it that loudly! I was staying up the night, listening to songs. So my stomach start to call for SUPPER! But I go ignore it. End up having stomach burning sensations

Lesson number two: always sleep before 2am if you got stuffs at 1pm. I woke up at 11.45pm lah! Then have to chiong my lunch and cabbed down to SSCC.

Lesson number three: Don't always chiong sua. Later you die the worst. This is random.

Ok, enough of the so-called "lessons". I'm not a teacher. Let me start of what I did since 1am.

1am to 4am: Login and log out a few times, blogged, talked to chih and jon. Then listen to songs. Slp.

4am to 11.45am: Slept like a super dead log

11.45am to 12.30pm: raised slowly from my bed. Sensing that it was already late morning, I forcefully dragged my completely drained body out of the bed. Picking up the 3 pillows I threw out of my bed, I switched of the fan and went out of the room.

I checked my fully charge phone. Darn! Sheng Long called; Young Lion's duty! EH! Stomach ache, gave him a msg and headed to the toilet. While in the toilet, I answered his call, Duty! NOOO!!!!
So I shitted all the darn shit( NC-16 )
and washed up.

and bathed.

and got dressed.

and do my hair..

and pushed my lunch down my throat...

and rush downstairs.

and saw the bus 20m ahead off my bus stop.

So I cabbed down. DARN IT! $5.20? It is like midnight charge from her place lah!

So I met shawn with him newly bought 2nd hand e.guitar in a hard case a.k.a coffin

The place is so empty lah!

Ok, I'm lazy to blog already

But I had fun.

16 July 2006

I got a case of XYY! Very serious I guess. BAH! I bluff that I go sleep. But how to sleep when u got XYY?

So here I am, listening to songs. But then all my songs is those punk rock, alt. rock, rock ballads, love ballads, R&B and all those sibei depressing ones.

Siao liao lah.

Superman or plain joe? But superman got 2 identities! ( I think this is why he failed to get Louis' heart.)

15 July 2006

I got a new heading for a new song read it here. DA LINK!

Ok, I'm off for NDP!

I believe

I believe... I believe. Read all about it at this blog.

14 July 2006

MY 100TH POST! =)

But you guys still will get my same old sad stories. HA!

School today was rather sleepy because I chionged my tutorial throughout the night till 2.50am, then sent it via email(when I saw this; "the server would be closed from 3am to 5am daily for maintance. Sorry for the inconvenient" I chiong and faster uploaded my tutorial.)

Then I went to bed.

The next day... I slept till 8.30am but then still lacking of a certain sleeping factor. A dream? I'm not very of that myself. So I got myself ready and rushed down to school.

In the end I got 8.8/10 for my tutorial. I saved printer ink and saved my own paper because teacher printed it. Muahaha!

Now for the NDP part. Today's training is rather slack. Shawn was bullying me as usual, I am showing him my bo chap face as usual.( Older then my by a month so what?) Elvin and Jason are talking about football and education matters as usual. Raymond is always reminding me about my positions as usual. Ronald and Martin the 2 cousins are missing as usual. Training is slower than usual.

No sweat sia.

MUST NOT DISAPPOINT THE PRIMARY 5 KIDS THIS SATURDAY!

12 July 2006

I did not sleep well last night. Only I know why. Stupid me, should not made those comments.

That was my 3rd night of insufficient sleep.

I didn't know why I could sleep while listening to the radio on my phone and completely missed the lullaby by an hour!

So I was further affected. So all I could do was to switch off the radio and lay down on my bed and think... think... and think... Till I fell asleep.

And I was awoken by the rain. So I was there preparing to go to a sleeping trance... 10mins later... My alarm rang! Damn you... snoozed it for 9mins. And I over slept.

Surprising, I got to the bus stop at 8.20am, got at the 201 bus stop at 8.30am. But the empty bus 8 left after I reached there.

After school... Met with the rest. So we went to the library to rest. I realized, I was afraid to sleep. The falling effect keeps on coming. But I still got some sleep, which drained me of my energy.

So we went to blk 201 to have some lunch. I had duck rice and char kway teow. Bad mood man. Ate a lot.

Went back to bv to collect the year book.

------------end-------------------------

11 July 2006

While thinking of someone, would she know I am thinking about her?
How would she think of me? A normal dude pretending to be Superman
Yet all I know is to be a myself, but why I would be on the cool with her around

Why would I be so quiet?

While she was sleeping, I would listen to songs to make myself asleep
Yet I keeping thinking about her smiles which keeps me going
My motivation, my determination, my hope, my goals

Why I am keeping it to myself?

I would be angry but you have never seen it before
I could be distracted by your sudden appearance
With a smile carrying on my face throughout the day

But on the days and moments you would never want to reply
Are you angry or just too bothered to reply?
My phone calls are never answered

I want to know what you feel about me

I brought chocolates to find you. But seeing that I got no chance,
I just ate them to fill my empty stomach.
Would I still send those postcards?

Maybe.

I'm angry, but in the friendlier way.

10 July 2006

Siao liao lah... Now I cant sleep.

In the meanwhile, I go learn how to sing 超人 this song ease my worries. No worries, but then still cant control the Siao liao lah....

超人， 五月天

世界如果被残酷攻击 只要给我一个电话亭
把内裤当外衣 如果你能够开心 展开披风 带你飞行

谁赐予我这一身 无助的能力
神也不能阻挡 你想离开的心

为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地
为什么我却没办法 长驱直入 你的心

曾经你赞美我手臂 逛街多能提 日日夜夜贴身保护你
最凶狠的怪兽 也不能胛椅 那为何害怕你的泪滴

我给了我这一幕 难堪的结局
谁要这样超人 连自己也救不起

为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地
为什么我却没办法 长驱直入 你的心

为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么拯救地球 终于完美结局
为什么 我只能够 眼看着爱燃烧成 灰烬

世界如果被残酷攻击 谁来接手我的超能力

9 July 2006

Why am I waiting for my superwoman? I want to be your superman! WHO's my superwoman?

TELL ME!

So I'm going to die regreting. Cos I still keep everything to myself.

8 July 2006(3)

I going for NDP NRCC review soon. Reporting at SSCC HQ Tampines st81 at 1pm. Darn, so early and I still want to sleep somemore. My sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 July 2006(2)

Ok, I think I better blog since I'm bored.

Jean asked me for breakfast, so I asked a crucial question.

"Can you make it?"

So did not have breakfast in the end, but I still want my breakfast, jean.

Cabbed down to school today. I was reluctant to come out of my bed lah. Set my alarm at 7.15am but climb out at 7.45am. Then picked Fishy up and chionged to school.

Went for CKT lab and first thing was...

"BIRD! Where's your uniform?"

So I lifted my black polo and revealed a bedok view sultan shore house PE t-shirt, I LOVE BV!

And the convent girls wore their classic convent uniform. It looked damn weird thought.

After school I chionged with bao, wan kian and bohan for singing. I AM WEAK AT SINGING TODAY! Although im the weakest one but I was weaker then before! T-T

Went to buy Fanfan's new album after singing and went to the 7-11 near the marine parade shopping area to buy juice and to see if jean would alight from that bus stop. I'm sure she did come down from that bus stop but then the cashier called me. suay ah...

And so the bus started to move. EH SHIT! I WANT TO GO BACK TO TP! And so I am running towards the overhead and climbed up the stairs and ran to the bus stop across the road. I have made it!(the bus was slow, but then I am Superman, so I travel faster then it naturally.)

Arrived at TP in time for the TPSU's game of captian's ball. I sweat too much. And went for the YMD formation day concert/show after that.

Passed jean the album after that. And walked to the interchange to catch bus 38 home. And here I am, shagged and sleepy.

Nites ppl. My post today is crap.

8 July 2006

I'm tired and my stomach is feeling rather akward from the hours of werid trumbling.

Shall update tomorrow.

7 July 2006

Carried my dearest lao po laptop around everywhere I go today. Darn the printer! It could not print, and thus I have no choice but to bring my laptop to class to show my tutorial to teacher.

So I was in class listening to my mP3s , typing away in the speed of a flying bullet( im superman remember?). Then I was stuck in the chapters. Ok stop.

So I was there trying the wireless in the classroom, it failed. THE WIRELESS IN THE CLASSROOM NEED PASSWORD! WHY!?

AND THERE IS NO SOCKET FOR ME TO CHARGE MY COMPUTER!
MESA'S SOCKET ARE ALL DAMAGED!

And I have to bring my laptop to ndp too.

And Jean, I want breakfast.

5 July 2006

Football! FOOTBALL! 足球！ BOLA! FUSSBALL! THE FIFA world cup!

Just returned from a game of football. Rather weak at it, but I have to fufill my "ah pui to ah fit" campaign intial motivation - Ronaldno and mrbrown.

1. Do the following WITHOUT complains
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED By: JEAN TAN WAN JUN!

Favourites
favourite colour: black or white
favourite food: none
favourite song: jian jian dan dan
favourite movie: none

favourite sport: used to be basketball, then football, but my first love was the track and fields =)

favourite day of the week: none, I love them all equally
favourite season: Sg only got one season.

favourite ice-cream: none, sooo lonngggg neverrr eattt ice creammm le....


Currents
current mood: trying hard to be not emo

current taste: milo peng

current clothes: shorts only

current desktop: Acer lao po...

current toenail: great and healthy

current time: 10.33pm

current surroundings: everybody is doing their own stuffs

current annoyances: writing tutorial


Firsts
first best friends: my primary school basketball team

first crush: that girl in my primary 6 class

first movie: er... er... how to remember?

first lie: eh eh ....

first music: the kindergarden say goodbye teacher song


Lasts
last cigarette: no please

last drink: Vitagen less sugar peach flavour

last car ride: bus 12 home
last crush: hmmmmm......

last movie: superman returns

last phone call: Jun hao

last CD played: 雨人

Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: nope
have you ever broken the law: yes
have you ever been arrested: nope
have you ever skinny-dipped: nope
have you ever been on tv: no, but soon
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: no

5 things you are wearing: shorts, my specs, earphone, errr... nothing else

4 things you done today: eat, football, watch dvd, read fhm

3 things you can hear right now: zhou hua jian singing, my dad doing his prayers, the radio at my mum and dad's room

1 thing you do when you are bored: compose poems which makes no sense.

I am tagging nobody.=) peace.

4 July 2006

*ties a handband around my forehead which reads " be happier!" *

Today I walked home! But then at first I wanted to walk to the interchange after sending aunty and jean to the bus stop. While I was walking; " eh! is'nt that jean's block? Then I change course, and walked to the block. While I was there; "sian ah! Nevermind, I go take bus 31 or bus 10!" Then I saw Tampines Primary School! Then the primary school kids all playing at the playground, SO MUCH VIGOUR! SO MUCH LIFE, NOT AS EMO AS ME!

I got so much motivated to be happier! Then it spurred me on to continue till I reach home.

But it turns out into a exploration trip around tampines.

And I reached home with sore feet.

Lesson learn, You see something differently in different time.

4 July 2006

My mind is in a whirpool.
Just because I'm thinking of you,
To think when I can tell
That I need your warmth.

3 July 2006

Due to the fact that I keep everything to myself, I am feeling down again. This time it was worst, I could hide my emotions till the rest were up in the bus, I walked away from the interchange with my happy mask removed.

And I think that I have lost my ability to speak fluently.

Classes today was ok. Took bus 18 with fish instead of the usual bus 8 because we were running late for classes. Stopped at Tampines Safra, but bus 23 was full, so we walked to school from there. Entered LT 44 as quietly as I could, but then I threw my bag to the empty seat next to mine. So much for being quiet.

Yesterday's Ndp rehearsal was better compared to the previous rehearsal. I could feel it. Everyone was eager to perform. But once we stepped into the plastic covered field, our "gan chiong-ness" got hold of the 1200 of us. Everybody's timing was different, the lighting show went blink blink instead of the BLINK! effect we should have. Darn! Why we could not get it right? We can get scraped from the show you know?

02 July 2006

Another month has gone and pass. But I have not achieve anything great.

I have been thinking, why have I been not smiling, not being the cheerful me. WHY!? TELL ME WHY!

Could it be the fact that I keep everything to myself? Not expressing myself well enough for the rest to know?

But that is being me. THE mysterious me.

Let me shot out some songs which are ringing in my head. First song, 你那么爱她 by 李圣杰 -- 你那么爱她 为什么不把她留下 为什么不说心里话。Second song, 天天想你 by Mayday/张雨生 -- 天天想你 天天问自己 到什么时候才能告诉你 天天想你 天天守住一颗心。

haiz, I am being tormented by my inner self.

01 July 2006

Actually I am feeling quite down. But what is the cause of it?

A particular queasy uneasy feeling to know that you are being effected by something you didn't realize.

Where's aunty when I need aunty?