No I must not despair and bow down to my circumstances.

If things seem a little blue,
Keep on fighting.
Stay it out and see it through,
Keep on fighting.



Yes! I got to keep on fighting! I may be insane, but as long my mind is clear, I gotta keep on going.

I got no objections about her and him together. My attention has shifted from that to another.

Currently I'm listening to 3 Doors Down - Away From the Sun


It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone go where I am

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't do what I've done

And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again


Spending the whole night reflecting on myself. It dawned upon me that I have no real friends in my life. I have a bad childhood experience in primary school. Now my old fears has come back. I feel that all my friends that I know in this world are strangers to me.

I'm so far down, away from the sun again.

Cliffhanger stories. Don't you love them?

Frustrated

I have a big headache. There's too many thing going on in my mind at the moment right now that it would explode any moment. First there is National Service, second is a bigger problem, screwed up & fucked up life.

Glancing through my MSN contact list, I could quickly spot at least 4 people with depressing messages and at least 2 more with not so optimistic ones. This worries me.

I have many questions to ask them. But once I start to open my mouth or rather start flexing my fingers on the keyboard to shoot questions, they would start saying; "Why don't you mind your own business?" Maybe not that rudely, but they wouldn't answer back or simply give me a single word answer; "OK"

This is quite annoying to me. For me, to ask about someone, it means that I'm concerned about their well being and their problems. Yet, I'm the kind of the guy who gets misunderstood all the time.

好烦啊! This is frustrating.

So as a friend should I:
a) leave them alone for them to cool down and think for themselves
b) act if nothing has happened although you know that something has happened
c) Force my way through

Option C seems to be my method of choice, but it's many years of friendship that I'm gambling on. Yet Option B is totally unforgiving.

I shall stick to option A for now.

Why Schools in Singapore don't teach Apple Programming as widely as Window based Programming?

I have a question. Why don't we learn all kinds of programming in this world? In poly, the programming languages that I have come across are: ASP, C, C++, Java, Perl, HTML, PHP, SQL(if you count it as a programming language).

A mix of windows based and Linux base languages, but how about Apple MAC OS based languages?

Lots of question marks in my mind right now. Is it easy to learn? Is it easy to debug and troubleshoot? On the whole, is the development easy to accomplish?

Google Chrome

Google has decided to stop all the unsafe web-surfing and other online dangerous stuffs by creating it's own web browser; the Google Chrome.

Basically, it looks like Mozilla Firefox 3.0, could be due to the past partnership with Mozilla.

So how does it look like and how does it work? I'm not very sure myself, but you could check it out at Google's videos at Youtube.

Link: Google Chrome's features at Youtube

Help.

I have fallen.

Time and times again.

This is endless.

Actual stuffs now.
Many times I have fallen down. But I had learnt to pick myself up. Sometimes, it's via the easy way, but usually it's the hard way.

That kept me thinking. Why couldn't I always learn it the easy way?

When I was young.
When I fall down: Cry.
Up to primary four also cry. Bloody teacher who pick on me made me cry. Many thanks to my fellow classmate who helped me block that guy.

When I got older
When I fall down: emo
Maybe not everybody has noticed. But usually I keep quiet all the time. Although I'm the type who doesn't talk much, but when the conversation is on a favourable topic of mine, I can't stop talking.

But when I got really hurt or what, I just become very withdrawn and sulking.

At times I do get hurt, At times I do get lonely, At times I know I'm not welcomed, at times I know I very kay kiang. But not everybody is perfect.

Maybe it's due to my reaction. Couldn't I take setbacks more maturely?

All I know that I have to keep walking. The answer would appear right in front of me.

Apple iPhone 3G

I had subscribed to Hardwarezone forums. Everyday they send me rubbish to read, but today's wonderful.

Why?

Answer: Apple iPhone 3G.

Looks like there's lots of problems with the iPhone 3G (s) in Singapore. Whose fault? Singtel? Apple? Apple's sub contractors???

I'm really not sure, but here are the problems that the people in HWZ forums were talking about:
1) Yellowish screens.
Apple claims that it is normal. To make the pictures look warmer and better. No big fuss about it; but many new iPhone users were kpkb about it, demanding a 1 to 1 exchange. On the other hand, the local distributer doesn't seem to take much action about it.

2) Scratched back cover.
Plastic leh. Still got scratch!

3) Dead Pixel
Ok... That's unacceptable

4) Locked to Singtel only!
WTH!

Basically that's the summary of what they are complainting about. Please note that I'm not a Apple user( no iPod, no Mac, no iPhone ). But I'm really interested in one. Yet, many users on the forum seems to be very ignorent about Apple's product. Research is important in buying electronical products. You don't just walk into a store and buy a MP3 player right away, or a mobile phone, a computer. You need to have lots of research!

Moral of the story... Research, research and research!!!!

I think I...

I think I...

Got to stop listening to fan fan... fan wei qi's songs. It makes me emo. Don't know why but it seems to be affecting me quite badly.

Trying out Ubuntu

Hi guys,

Now I'm trying out Ubuntu OS on my old desktop.

Current Config:
P3 700 MHz
256 DDR RAM
10GB HDD
CD ROM Drive
Wireless USB Adapter

My old PCI LAN card isn't recognized by Ubuntu. An attempt to install the driver has proven unsuccessful. But hey! I could use the wireless usb adapter! That's even better as I could place this desktop away from the router.

Experience:
The operating system boot up time was quick and fast. A little change to the boot sequence is a must to allow the wireless usb adapter to work all the time( it took me half an hour to make it work properly). While using the firefox beta that's installed on default. It is quite slow and laggy. Not a very smooth operation. I would recommend you to get at least 512mb of memory to make it real nice.

Why? Firefox 3 may boast of a better memory managment but on my Windows XP Pro laptop, even with 2GB of memory, the initial start up of firefox is still slow and laggy. On the other hand, my laptop has been used for 3 years without any reformatting but I got tons of other stuffs to load too.

In the baseline, Ubuntu is a nice OS to use for free. But! Before you whip out any old PC to use. Please at least consider these settings.

1) At least 1GHz computer processer (Intel is favored over AMD)
2) At least 512Mb of RAM (to make multi-tasking smoother and web browsing better)
3) At least 20 to 40 GB hard disk.
4) Able to play sound ( mine can't T-T)
5) Mouse and Keyboard

Lastly, the most important one...
A working Internet connection. Ubuntu relies heavily on the internet!

Bird aka kxh

25 july 08 fri

Well... Today's friday.

What did I done?

1) Called the lab my home again ( my senior called it his house. He sleeps there. Monday to Friday, and he goes home on friday evening. Repeat it again on the following Monday. Btw, he took back our self declared 'my' drawer to store his clothes and shaver. )

2) Downloaded some Mobile Java games. ( currently playing some guitar game, O2 Jam mobile and some rally car racing game. )

3) Looked and researched into WebDeveloper.com

4) Returned to TP to look for more books in the evening.

5) Switched off my coding mode and spend time surfing net ( Hey! That's what I have done in the day! )

Nights...

New resolution!!!!!!

While looking at Devin's new blog,

I had an idea.

Why not blog my logbook inside it? In this way...

1) A causal report on my work done
2) Helps me remember stuffs!!!

MUahahah...

Flash back

I was reading the BBC news and then I saw this article:

Police say UFO was just the Moon

it reminds me when I was young. I was going to give my elder cousin a call that afternoon. I dialled the number from my memory and then a uncle picked up the phone. Thinking that he was my uncle... I when:

Me: Hello? Uncle ah? Jie Jie in a not???
Uncle: Er... Huh?
Me: (got blur... His daughter also don't know) Er... Valerie ah...
Uncle: Orh... Wait ah.
Me: Ok!
Fake Valerie: Hello?
Me: Er... (Sensing that something is not right)
Me (again): Jie ah...
Fake Valerie: huh? Hello little boy. This is the police post. Don't anyhow play with the phone.
Me: (sian)

Called my cousin in the tampines and it became tampines police post.

I'm not as busy as everybody thinks it is...

Phew... It has sometime I had posted something in this bloodly blog of mine.

May stuff has passed, and my project is giving me headache. Nobody knows about it, cause my face doesn't show it.

Pretending that it's going well seems to be my style for now.

Lately, the mrt rides from Simei to Boon Lay became a time for me to do some reading and some project brainstorming. It's only in the mrt I got the mood to read a book or a magazine(mostly on games, cars and toys, lol). And it's the only time I get the idea to solve problems in my project(how I wish my laptop's battery is working).

I find it frustrating, for my weakness in spelling.
Helplessness, anger, and all those confusion.

I need help in using words to express myself,
either in written or spoken.

Couldn't depend on the confidence I used to have.
Need to count on my own.

Kinda needed that person who could interpret my words for me.

Can I employ her instead?

Just kidding = )

When I grow up

When I grow up, I want to use a Lenovo thinkpad. Expensive but damn reliable. Sorry Acer... You have phased out the damn good 8XXX series of travelmate.

Perhaps if Acer have no heating problems... I could consider it instead = )

300th post

300th post.

Wow... It took me 3 years to reach 100th post... Hmm... That means I blog at a rate of 100 post per year.

That's slow.

Today popped down to Sentosa. Wasn't much interested at first. Dragged myself down. Started the day with some games of basketball..

That did the trick and when into mood for the beach.

Didn't bring my camera, was in the rush.

My friend's camera was quite unfamiliar to use.

Blogging in parts and bits.

Getting sick soon.

Something came to my mind.

Realized something that I should realized long ago. It's time for me to awaken and take action.

The key is action, it's isn't about the enlightenment part anymore. It's the action now.

It sucks!

Damn! Where's that album; where's that song when I want it???

Damn! Isn't that a music store?

Heck care... I shall find it else where then.

At another Popular outlet to spend my SGD$20 voucher.

For that bloody 方大同 album...

你想开 宝马 我和 我的toyota; 是否让你尴尬.

Holiday

This time round, my holidays sucks
Not just due to the fact that I'm broke,
But everybody seems to be busy doing their stuffs;
So I rot at home doing nothing...
Or at the office eating phone and papers with a dash of fear

Maybe I shall construct my gundam,
but I have no plastic model paint in my toolbox;
Shall I colour it with water colour instead?

Turning 19 soon; but I guess I shall spend it doing something meaningful.

Not free again you shall hear and you will see me when SiP appear....