No I must not despair and bow down to my circumstances.

If things seem a little blue,
Keep on fighting.
Stay it out and see it through,
Keep on fighting.



Yes! I got to keep on fighting! I may be insane, but as long my mind is clear, I gotta keep on going.

I got no objections about her and him together. My attention has shifted from that to another.

Currently I'm listening to 3 Doors Down - Away From the Sun


It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone go where I am

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't do what I've done

And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again


Spending the whole night reflecting on myself. It dawned upon me that I have no real friends in my life. I have a bad childhood experience in primary school. Now my old fears has come back. I feel that all my friends that I know in this world are strangers to me.

I'm so far down, away from the sun again.

Cliffhanger stories. Don't you love them?

Frustrated

I have a big headache. There's too many thing going on in my mind at the moment right now that it would explode any moment. First there is National Service, second is a bigger problem, screwed up & fucked up life.

Glancing through my MSN contact list, I could quickly spot at least 4 people with depressing messages and at least 2 more with not so optimistic ones. This worries me.

I have many questions to ask them. But once I start to open my mouth or rather start flexing my fingers on the keyboard to shoot questions, they would start saying; "Why don't you mind your own business?" Maybe not that rudely, but they wouldn't answer back or simply give me a single word answer; "OK"

This is quite annoying to me. For me, to ask about someone, it means that I'm concerned about their well being and their problems. Yet, I'm the kind of the guy who gets misunderstood all the time.

好烦啊! This is frustrating.

So as a friend should I:
a) leave them alone for them to cool down and think for themselves
b) act if nothing has happened although you know that something has happened
c) Force my way through

Option C seems to be my method of choice, but it's many years of friendship that I'm gambling on. Yet Option B is totally unforgiving.

I shall stick to option A for now.

Why Schools in Singapore don't teach Apple Programming as widely as Window based Programming?

I have a question. Why don't we learn all kinds of programming in this world? In poly, the programming languages that I have come across are: ASP, C, C++, Java, Perl, HTML, PHP, SQL(if you count it as a programming language).

A mix of windows based and Linux base languages, but how about Apple MAC OS based languages?

Lots of question marks in my mind right now. Is it easy to learn? Is it easy to debug and troubleshoot? On the whole, is the development easy to accomplish?

Google Chrome

Google has decided to stop all the unsafe web-surfing and other online dangerous stuffs by creating it's own web browser; the Google Chrome.

Basically, it looks like Mozilla Firefox 3.0, could be due to the past partnership with Mozilla.

So how does it look like and how does it work? I'm not very sure myself, but you could check it out at Google's videos at Youtube.

Link: Google Chrome's features at Youtube

Help.

I have fallen.

Time and times again.

This is endless.

Actual stuffs now.
Many times I have fallen down. But I had learnt to pick myself up. Sometimes, it's via the easy way, but usually it's the hard way.

That kept me thinking. Why couldn't I always learn it the easy way?

When I was young.
When I fall down: Cry.
Up to primary four also cry. Bloody teacher who pick on me made me cry. Many thanks to my fellow classmate who helped me block that guy.

When I got older
When I fall down: emo
Maybe not everybody has noticed. But usually I keep quiet all the time. Although I'm the type who doesn't talk much, but when the conversation is on a favourable topic of mine, I can't stop talking.

But when I got really hurt or what, I just become very withdrawn and sulking.

At times I do get hurt, At times I do get lonely, At times I know I'm not welcomed, at times I know I very kay kiang. But not everybody is perfect.

Maybe it's due to my reaction. Couldn't I take setbacks more maturely?

All I know that I have to keep walking. The answer would appear right in front of me.